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[Fwd: FW: HUMOR: Middle age]

To: Roadster List <datsun-roadsters@autox.team.net>
Subject: [Fwd: FW: HUMOR: Middle age]
From: Gordon Glasgow <glasgow@serv.net>
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 20:57:51 -0700
Okay, so this isn't really about roadsters, but I know enough of us can
relate to some (or all) of the following.


Subject: Middle Age


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to
wear out, fall out, or spread out.

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of  memory.
The other two I forget.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just, as
long
as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun - and fun a lot more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every
man. Isn't that the darnest time for a guy to get those  odds?

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start
confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by  his
doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one
that
will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the
only
thing you care to exercise.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun
to
grow in the middle.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.

Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to
enjoy.

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. 
What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a
laxative.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through
Congress.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the
parking
lot.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it
started.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and
you
didn't do anything the night before.

The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. 

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that
you
are not a hypochondriac

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. 

You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

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