Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2001 11:06:33 -0500
From: David Judson <David.Judson@pwc.ca>
Subject: [Fwd: Guess what I bought on Saturday? part III]
Sender: David.Judson@pwc.ca
To: "Parkman, Kenneth" <Kenneth.Parkman@pwc.ca>
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Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2001 09:50:33 -0500
From: David Judson <David.Judson@pwc.ca>
Subject: Guess what I bought on Saturday? part III
Sender: David.Judson@pwc.ca
To: "Owens, Samantha" <Samantha.Owens@pwc.ca>,
tiborandshannon@altavista.com, David Judson <David.Judson@pwc.ca>
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Episode III
The Motor Morass
Around every silver lining, there is a very grey cloud....never lose
sight of this. Leave the "inside every grey
cloud there is a silver lining" crap for the pie in the sky optimists..
I pulled the heads and pan of the LS5-454 big block last night. I was
sort of hoping (although realisticly I new
it would not be so) that the block waould be a 4 bolt block with a
forged steel crank and 7/16th rods. I had
already determined by the casting #'s that the heads were the original
heads that came with a '71 LS5 (giving
more creedance to the fact that the original owner blew up the bottom
end and got a GM service replacemant
piece for it). This was kind of a bittersweet thing as this particlular
head was one of the least interesting from
a performance standpoint, ...however thery were the original heads none
the less and this seems to mean
something to Corvette guys...maybye I'll put them in a box and run a
nice set of aftermarket aluminium heads
on the car (and save 100lbs to boot!)
Anyway enough of this, on with the show...and the script for this show
is "The Horror,..... the horror, ......the
horror......"
First things first lets drain the coolant from the block right?..Hmmm on
a small block Chevy there is a drain
plug, Ill just find it, and drain the residual coolant out of the block
to save making a mess...hey there is a neat
looking aftermarket plug on the lower drivers side of the motor,
somebody must have bought a trick little
valve thingie for doing some sort of quarter turn coolant drain
job..neat...so I give it a turn..nothing....aww,
screw it, lets just take it out..probably clogged with gunk, thats why
it wont drain...so I take it
out..nothing...hmmm there seems to be oil all over the inside of this
little valve thingie....oh...it's not a water
passage, it is an oil passage..Hey, wait a minute, why would anybody put
a quick drain plug on an oil
galllery...you certainly cant drain any oil out from here unless the
engine is running..hmmm lets look closer at
this speed drain thingie....I'll get a better look by wiping the dirt
off of it..seems solid, cant see hoe this could
be a speed drain....wipe, wipe wipe....Patent Pending...wipe wipe
wipe...Suntour.
??Suntour??...SUNTOUR??!!!!??? FUC@ING SON OF A BIT@H!
@#(**^$(*@.....@((&8.............. THE
IDIOTS COULDN'T FIND THE PROPER SCREW IN CORE PLUG WHEN THEY PUT THE
MOTOR
BACK TOGETHER SO THEY JAMMED (A NON PIPE THREAD NONE THE LESS) 10 SPEED
BIKE
PART IN THE HOLE.....FINGER TIGHT OF COURSE.....but of course, tight
enough to F up the threads in
the block.....
I have heard the ledgends of a lost ancient race of people who could not
generate enough heat from their brains
to keep their scalps warm..but I thought it was a myth..like the Loch
Ness Monster, or a straignt Backstreet
Boy.....but I now have hard evidence of their existance....I will have
my pictures on the website soon....maybe
next week.
The pistons are new..flat top, cast...and the block has been .030
overed....nothing shocking here....
The combustion chambers n the heads are big enough todrown in...probably
124 cc's.....talk about low
compression..I could run this baby on Mexico pump gas and never hear a
ping.
Off with the oil pan (now that the million gallons of coolant have been
drained out....the qoute of the night
was "how many galoons of coolant are in this damn thing anyay"..every
time I thought I had it al out, another
cup or two would miraculously appear out of now where
Lets see what we have here...2 bolt mains..disappointing, but not
really..it was what I expected and for even a
high hp street motor or mid grade racing motor 2 bolt mains are
completely fine...3/8th's rods...again what I
expected to find...3/8th's rods in a bigblock Chevy are still a good
piece....
Oh my god, what have we here...a forged steel crank as opposed to a cast
one...woo hoo! bonus...these are
friggin expensive..$1000.00-$1200 bucks easy...ahh but what I lost sight
of was that this was a silver
lining....ok now where is the cloud....turn the crank over...hey, whats
this M200 R2000 stamped on one of the
crank counter weights....Ken (Parkman) says oh they do that when they
graind the mains and rod bearing
journals undersize at a machine shop sometimes.....mmm ok, .020
undersize is not too bad I guess....turn the
crank some more..HEy, whats this...also on the same counterweight (but
on the side tis time) it says M400,
R400...What, ground twice?....040 under really pisses me off....frankly
now I dont know if I even want the
damn steel crank now...but wait there is more...now remember that the
steel crank is the single most expensive
piece in this motor......Ken says "Holy Crap, I see it but I dont
believe it" (paraphrased and cleaned up)..."look
at th the damper..(now I am deathly afraid of dampers as the one on my
Camaro developed a Crack and
destroyed the front of my crank....fortunately the damper didn't
tri-hub)....the same FUC@ING moron who
used the 10 speed bike part apparently did not have damper puller, ....
but he DID HAVE A BIG FREAKING
HAMMER......YES A HAMMER... which he used to POUND the damper off the
snout of the crank......any
bets as to wether thr snout of my crank has a runout that can be seen
without the aid of a dial gauge???? I
wouldn't take that bet if I were you....Son of a Bit@h.....
Well that's tomorrow's story.....Part IV, "What goes around, Comes
around, like a corkscrew"
If I ever find out who did tis stuff, I promise to leave a flaming sac
of dog poo on his/her doorstep every
Haloween from this day forward....
@%$#*&
Dave.
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