'Twas the night before Christmas, and out in the shed,
Sat a tired old FIAT, its battery dead.
Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had holes.
The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles.
The tires had dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking.
A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking.
So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart,
And went out to the shed to get it to start.
The engine turned over--there arose such a clatter!
I knew from the sound it was water pump chatter.
>From under the dashboard there came a bright flash:
The wiring harness had just turned to ash!
I've had it with Spiders! I finally swore,
Enough is too much! I can't take any more!
When what to my red, teary eyes should appear,
But a little Italian (heck, I need a beer!)
Buon giorno, he said, poking me in the belly.
You needa my help? I'm Gianni Agnelli.
This one can be saved; there's no reason to grieve.
All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe!
A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools!
When you work on these cars, just make up-a da rules!
We'll get her cranked over; no way that-a she'll stall
(But stand over there wit-a you back to the wall.)
A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning--
I couldn't believe it! The darn thing was running!
The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire,
Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THIS WIRE!
The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts
But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts.
So I opened the shed door and let the top down.
Put pedal to metal and went out on the town.
And I thought to myself as I missed second gear,
Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!
-Sent by our friend Merkel Weiss from the Rear Engine
Fiat Club in Sun Valley, California.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Fiat Lancia
Unlimited, the largest Fiat Lancia Club in North
America! Visit our website: _www.flu.org_ (http://www.flu.org)
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