Ladies and Gentlemen,
I've been holding back thoughout the Christmas season figuring that I'd not
post this classic again this year. But it's Christmas Eve and the Devil Made
Me Do It!
A Merry, Happy and Joyous Christmas to you and your entire family. And I
hope all the UPS trucks show up with your racing goodies before tomorrow
morning.
Larry Steckel
>12 Days of Cajun Christmas
>
>
>Day 1 :. Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de pear tree. I fix it
>las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp,
>so I swap it for a Satsuma.
>
>Day 2 : Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all
>I
>got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouile an made some
>gumbo out of dem.
>
>Day 3 : Dear Boudreaux, way doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of
>eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie
>Trahan over at Gras Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie
>needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.
>
>Day 4 : Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more friggin birds! Deez
>four, what you call them calling birds were so noisy you could hear them
>all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps an fed the
>rest of dem to de gators.
>
>Day 5 : Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen' somethin useful. I like dem golden
>rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and go enuf money to
>fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys a de Raisin Cane
>Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!
>
>Day 6 : Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor
>egg suckin Phideaux is scared to death at dem six gaeases. He tried to eat
>dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eatin
>cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit erster dressing on Chrismas
>Day.
>
>Day 7 : Dear Boudreaux, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see
>you.
>Thibeau, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is
>stinkin' up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue
>him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck
>hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow.
>
>Day 8 : Dear Boudreaux, poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his
>mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and their cows. One of dem cows
>got
>spooked by da alligators an almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem
>siftless maids, me no. I tot dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping
>the shack but dey say it wasn't in dair contract. Dey probably think de too
>good ta skin nutrias I caught las night.
>
>Day 9 : Dear Boudreaux, what you trying to do huh? Thibeau had to borrow
>the Luther ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call "Lords a- Leaping"
>across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with
>crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says; Well La Di Da! You get
>Chickory coffee or nutin. Mon Dieu, Emile, what am I gonna feed all dese
>bozos? Dey too snotty for fried nutria, an de cows done eat my turnip
>greens.
>
>Day 10 : Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs of you mind! If de mailman
>dont kill you, I will fo sure! Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies
>from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be ladies Dancin, but dey doan act like
>ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got
>bit
>by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed
>toute le monde an had to get toilet paper. The Sears Catalog wasnt good
>enuf for dose hoity toity Lords royal behin.
>
>Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where yat? Cherrio and pip pip. Your 11 pipers
>piping arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off
>de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished da whiskey
>and
>we having a fais-do-d0! Da new mailman he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel an
>he having a good time yeah dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off
>de
>Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious,
>ticking package in de mail, doan open it!
>
>Day 12 : Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love
>anymore, no. After da faisdo-do, I spnet de night with Jacque, de head
>piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemens club on de bayou. The
>floozies, pardon me, Ladies dancing can make $20.00 for a table dance, an
>de
>Lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids doan have no
>more cows ta milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines,
>an run my sriping business. We will probably gross a million clams nex
>year.
>
>
>
>
>
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