I don't usually do this, but in a way it applies to all of us.
Guy Stuff.......
1. "I'M GOING FISHING":
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand,
while the fish swim by in complete safety."
2. "IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance
at all of making it logical".
3. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
4. "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY" or alternately "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response
5. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
6. "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST
THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over
there is wearing a bra."
7. "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."
8. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
9. YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'Star Wars',
the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the
vehicle identification Numbers of every car I've ever
owned, but I forgot your birthday."
10. "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
11. "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will
bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
12. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
13. "I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my out stretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless."
14. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
15. "I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and
am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend
the next
3 days yelling at me."
16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it
could be worse."
17. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
starving.
18. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
Bob Kramer
TR4,TR4A, TR6, 2.5 Saloon
rgk@flash.net
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