SPITFIRE:
Serious Pride In Transportation For Income Restricted Enthusiasts
How's that one?
Jeff in San Diego
----- Original Message -----
From: Reginald Tulk <regtulk@isd.net>
To: Spitfire List <spitfires@autox.team.net>; Triumph List
<triumphs@autox.team.net>
Sent: Thursday, February 24, 2000 11:27 AM
Subject: Humor and a request
>
> So my loving fiancé sends me the following with a note saying "pay
> special attention to the triumph one"
> Who's got POSITIVE ones for "triumph" or "spitfire"?
>
> (and don't start bashing my fiancé - she loves me and my cars - even tho
> she calls my spitfire "the coffin"!!)
>
> CAR NAMES EXPLAINED
> AUDI:
> Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
> Another Uninformed Driver Insulted
> All Unnecessary Devices Installed *1.
> BMW:
> Big Money Works
> Bought My Wife
> Brutal Money Waster
> Bimbette Motor Weapon
> Break My Window
> Big Man Wannabe
> Big Money Wasted
> Broken Money Waster
> BUICK:
> Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
> Big Ugly Import Car Killer
> CADILLAC:
> Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
> CHEVROLET:
> Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
> Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
> Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
> CHRYSLER:
> Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement *2.
> DODGE:
> Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
> FIAT:
> Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
> Fix It All the Time
> Fix it again, Tony!
> Fix it again tomorrow
> Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
> FORD:
> Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge
> First On Recall Day
> First On Rust and Deterioration
> Fix Or Repair Daily
> Found On Road, Dead
> Fault Of Research and Development
> Fast Only Rolling Downhill
> Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
> Found On Russian Dump
> Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
> Ford backwards: Drivers returning on foot.
> GEO:
> Good Engineering Overlooked
> GM:
> General Maintenance
> Great Mistake
> Garage Me
> GMC:
> Garage Man's Companion
> Got A Mechanic Coming?
> Generally Mediocre Cars
> Got More Crap
> HONDA:
> Had One Never Did Again
> HYUNDAI:
> Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
> JEEP:
> Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
> KIA:
> Kick It Again
> LINCOLN:
> Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature
> MAZDA:
> Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
> Made After Zero Design Analysis *3.
> MERCEDES:
> Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales *4.
> MOPAR:
> Most Often Passed At Races
> Mostly Old Parts And Rust
> Mostly Old Paint And Rust
> OLDSMOBILE:
> Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly
> Late Everywhere
> Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular
> Leftover Equipment
> Old Ladies Drive Slow-Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
> PLYMOUTH:
> Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
> PONTIAC:
> Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac
> PORSCHE:
> Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
> SAAB:
> Send Another Automobile Back
> Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
> Sad Attempt At Beauty
> SATURN:
> Sad Attempt To Unload Recycled Nissans
> STEALTH:
> Speed Trap Equipment Aims Low, Targets Hood *5.
> SUBARU:
> Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
> TOYOTA:
> Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
>
> TRIUMPH:
> The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
>
> VOLVO:
> Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
> VW:
> Virtually Worthless
> YUGO:
> Yearly undergoes garage operations
> You'll utter "greatly overpriced"
>
> Reg Tulk
> 74' Spit (boxes, boxes, boxes)
>
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