Since the Imperial vs. Metric thread got such a play, I thought that the List
might enjoy the following:
EuroEnglish
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for
what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, 's'
will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve
this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only
will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.There
will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent
shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth
year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by
'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
'ou', and similar changes vud ofkors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Bob Franklin
GT6 Mk III KF3060
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