Larry,
Great story. Here's another one - I was there at the time, so I know its
true.
About 2 weeks back as the afternoon was drawing in, a gathering of souls at
Gaydon were preparing to go home. There were about 300 of them who had been
in the Conference Centre for some sort of presentation and this guy turns up
at reception.
"I want to report my car's been stolen - and more importantly, I want to see
whoever is in charge to complain about on-site security. The security here
is non-existent." Gets more and more agitated.
"Where did you leave your car, Sir," the receptionist asked
"On the bloody car park of course! Where else?"
Well, we went to look for it - and we couldn't find it.
A few moments later, a bus driver turned up to collect another load of
passengers from the conference Centre and went to reception.
"Sorry, love - I couldn't ring you on my cellphone, 'cos I don't know your
number, but did anyone see that car floating out into the lake? I saw it
going under as I drove out on the one way system."
The lake!!!!!!!!!!??????????
We went to look.
Out in the middle of the lake was what looked like a short piece of reed
sticking out of the water - except it wasn't reed - it was the roof antenna!
What this dimwit had done was to leave his car that morning with the
handbrake off. As the car park is very slightly cambered along its length
and the wind was blowing hard from the west, it had blown the car backwards
until it reached the grass bank. At that point, gravity and physics took
over - and it rolled down the bank to sink with decorum and daintiness in
the middle of the lake - just like the Titanic.
Well, laddo goes apes**t! Of course he didn't leave it parked like that. it
must have been vandalism.
It wasn't. We dragged it out the next morning and while there was absolutely
zero pollution to the lake from oil or fuel, a very surprised frog was
sitting on the driver's headrest - and the handbrake hadn't been engaged.
But this isn't all.
Laddo was by that time due to be on a cross channel ferry (with that same
car) going to France with the wife and kids on holiday. Of course, he
wasn't - cos he was at Gaydon watching the car he'd parked the day before
being pulled out of the lake. Once we'd said to the frog that we hoped his
involuntary surfacing on our part hadn't spoiled any last minute lovemaking,
laddo goes round to the trunk - only to find he'd brought the wrong set of
keys with him. He lives about 60 miles away.
When he eventually returned in the early afternoon with the CORRECT keys, he
went again to the trunk and retrieved what HAD been a very expensive
Samsonite type briefcase. What was in it? Four passports, ferry tickets,
travellers cheques. He lifted the remains of the case out of the trunk and
it (and its contents) splodged on to the tarmac - totally useless.
Car ownership doesn't suit him. We later learned his original company car
had been stolen three weeks earlier because he'd left it unlocked and later
found by the police wrapped around an oak tree, the replacement had been
written off in a crash he'd had the day before he arrived at Gaydon and the
hire car replacement was now looking bedraggled on our car park. What was in
store for him was a refusal by his employer (Rover) for yet another
replacement car, a 1000 quid bill for crane hire to get the car out of the
lake and no hire company willing to let him have one of theirs - and a
family holiday that was just a memory. Some people just keep on pulling at
short straws.
John Mac
|