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In a message dated 14/05/99 07:42:14 GMT Daylight Time, karl@agnet.co.za
writes:
<< Subject: (Fwd) FW: Comprehending Engineers
Engineers such as your good selves may find this slightly amusing...
(They get better as they go along)
Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
Take Two
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get
some
work done."
Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.
Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Take Five
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
FASCINATION WITH GADGETS
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two
categories:
(1) things that need to be fixed, and
(2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering
what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a
shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make
showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub
optimised and feature-poor toys.
>>
Leon
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From: Karl Illenberger <karl@agnet.co.za>
To: "'Bryan du Preez'" <bdp@xtra.co.nz>,
"'David Price & Co'"
<davidp@iafrica.com>,
"'GuyotLeonF@aol.com'" <GuyotLeonF@aol.com>,
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"'Pat Price'" <psprice@us.oracle.com>
To: "'QUINN, PAUL FAX 41 9945440'" <VWSA.QUINNP@VWMAIL.CO.ZA>,
"'Ryan MTBiker'" <ryan6972@hotmail.com>,
"'Werner Illenberger'" <werner@agnet.co.za>,
"'Stefan Baumann'" <baumann@eci.co.za>
Subject: FW: (Fwd) FW: Comprehending Engineers
Date: Thu, 13 May 1999 11:45:39 +-200
----------
From: =09Bruce Zimmerman
Sent: =0913 May 1999 12:56
To: =09'Allan Homes'
Cc: =09'andrew elliot'; 'Brian Thiele'; 'David Evans'; 'karl illenberger'; '=
Mark Nowson'; 'Nadine Gass'; 'nigel portlock'; 'Peter Johnson'; 'peter towns=
end'; 'robyn hoe'; 'steve thompson'; 'Tony Kanatas'
Subject: =09FW: (Fwd) FW: Comprehending Engineers
Subject: (Fwd) FW: Comprehending Engineers
Engineers such as your good selves may find this slightly amusing...
(They get better as they go along)
Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
Take Two
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get
some
work done."
Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.
Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Take Five
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
FASCINATION WITH GADGETS
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two
categories:
(1) things that need to be fixed, and
(2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to
play with them.
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily
available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't
understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering
what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a
shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make
showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub
optimised and feature-poor toys.
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