I am going to send out a joke that two people sent to me. I liked it and am
going to send it along tomorrow. The subject matter will be "dirty joke".
Only one small part is dirty but if any single TR girl type owners get
offended confront me in Portland in August......
but in the meantime just think next time when your bitching about someting
wrong on your LBC.
IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS....
...Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a
new car.
... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
... Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange
reason,you would accept this too.
... You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats...
... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable,five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on
5 percent of the roads.
... The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
... The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single "general car default" warning light.
... New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
... The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
... If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
... Your speedometer should read 110 km/h but in reality the Car is only
speeding at 90 km/h
... If you couldn't afford to buy a car of your own, you can easily borrow
a friend's and make a copy...
... MS Cars could only be driven with Microsoft Petrol.
... Occasionally, at random intervals the car would die with no obvious
reason, and would return " your vehicle has performed an non authorised
move, your car will now be stopped". For some strange reason, you would
accept this, restart and drive on.
... You should be forced to start "user information associations" to learn
from each other how to avoid the repeatedly re-installations of the engine.
... You should be forced to buy a new car every second year, otherwise you
should be unable to pace up with the traffic.
... The car could not find the file "passing.ini" and your trip was
restarted.
... On long journeys your information screen will flash "The car has caused
a generally security fault in the module "highway_110.dll", apply any pedal
to return to driving, and all the sudden you are back on the same street as
your journey was started on...
... You should be forced to right-click the properties of the petrol gauge
to find out how much gas you have left...
... The Units for Ground Connection (wheels) will not be delivered with the
car since Microsoft never believed they where necessary to manœuvre the
car,instead will they be delivered as service-pack 1, 2, 3 and 4 several
month later and several month between.
... All faults on the car will be due to bad streets. When calling "whoever
maintaining the roads" you receive the answer that the fault is
"built-in"in the car. Neither Microsoft nor "whoever maintaining the roads"
will take any responsibility, why you will be forced to buy a new car at
least every second year.
8>)
the arthur
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