Ran across this bit of history, and thought it might illuminate how the
British Automobile Empire made history.
It is recommended that this history be absorbed in the order in which it
happened, and don't
read the next accomplishments 'til another day.
It also covers the manufacturer we love so well. (And it ain't Toyota)
Up the Empire!
Steve
Steve Laifman
Editor
http://TigersUnited.com
1967: British-Aerospace, a subsidiary of the Humber Division of the
Rootes Group, has announced a joint venture with Renault Aerospatiale
to develop a supersonic transport aeroplane. This SSA will travel
at nearly twice the speed of sound from London in New York in 2 hours.
Powered by phased arrays of 289 cu. In. V-8 motors, manufactured in
Coventry by the Singer-Jaguar Division, are said to be capable of
extra-atmospheric flight. Ticket reservations are being taken for a
200 pound English Sterling deposit, or $250,000.00 American dollars.
(400 pound Balance due 6 months prior to departure).
1977: The first manned lunar landing, by Astronaught Sterling Moss,
was accompanied by his cryptic historical comment One small step for
man, one more world to conquer for Alpine! His historic voyage
aboard the two-seater Sunbeam Tiger Moon Mobile was only marred twice
by having to smartly strike the Lucas fuel pump with his bumpershoot
handle to restart the 900,000 horsepower Ford V-512 cylinder Tiger
air-breathing rocket motor. This motor is made by the Singer-Ford
subsidiary of the Rootes Group in colonial Arkansas. Astronaught Moss
pre-launch remarks about the sensibility of carrying 250,000 miles of
Dunlop-Goodyear air-hose was taken as only in jest by His Majesty,
while Mrs. Moss and the children were present at the TV viewing in the
luxurious and famous Tower of London Royal Apartments.
1983: The rumored production of a retro-Alpine 1955 drophead coupe by
the insular Honda Motor Company of Japan has been denied by the
Ministry of Trade and Industry (MITI). They are quoted as saying Any
manufacture of products protected by international copyright and
patent agreements could never happen in this country. The rumor of
nostalgia buffs is denied, and apologies are tendered to His Majestys
Government, and were delivered to Prime Minister John F. Kennedys
ambassador, the Right Honorable Michael Jackson. His Majestys
Government accepted the apology and stood down the Colonial Seventh
Fleet bring prepared for battle in Cooks Harbour, Honolulu Colony.
In other news, Setsumosa Kiosaka, manager and research and
development at the Nissan-Mazda division of Honda was found to have
committed ritual seppuku by severing his arms, legs and head
simultaneously in five rooms of his Tokyo apartments. No comment was
forthcoming from his widows or corporate spokesmen.
1997: The ex-astronaught, Right Honorable Sir Sterling Moss, R.O.G.
E.R., B.P.O.E, P.U.T.Z., from his long-time residential abode in the
Tower of London Royal Apartments, commented upon the 30th anniversary
of this moonwalk (and the sudden inexplicable demise of his family),
has been overheard to comment If it were only the other way round,
Sir Michael Jacksond be livin ere, and Id be in the bloomin
Beverly ills Colonial Mansion with me little friends and famous for
me Moonwalk Dance Video.
Sir Sterling has been known to become somewhat eccentric in his
advanced years, and has often said hed been misquoted in the tattler
Royal New York Times supermarket smut sheet. He completely denies
all attributed statements that hed always have 100 candles illuminate
his abode to ward off the evil Prince of Darkness. Few scholars
claim to understand this demonic references, which can only be
inferred by reading his statements backwards.
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