(Sorry, this is a rough draft)
Felix and Oscar wash their cars...
Two guys -- let's call them Felix and Oscar, for no particular reason -- are
washing their cars today. Let's see how each approaches the project:
A) a container.
Felix: Worried that a plastic or metal bucket might harbor impurities, he
commissions a friend that does glass-blowing to fabricate a deep, thick-wall
bowl, which he sterilizes before use.
Oscar: Finds a discarded toilet in neighbor's trash, tips it over to empty
out the cigar butts and beer cans, but fails to dislodge the headless
'action figure' jammed in the trap.
B) cleaning fluid
Felix: Carefully melts one full bar of women's soap for sensitive skin, adds
in 4 drops of extra-virgin olive oil for lubrication, and a tablespoon of
glycerin.
Oscar: Nothing on the basement shelf, which is on the floor now anyway, so
he roots around in the kitchen wastebasket for the dregs of what's in nearly
empty bottles. Finds a wee bit of Mr. Clean, some floor-wax stripper,
Massengill and Liquid Plumber; mixes them together.
C) washing cloth, or alternatives
Felix: Opens carton mailed in from spongesoftheworld.com, which is filled
with _only_ the fine-grained Indian Ocean sponges. Each will only be used
once, then discarded.
Oscar: Overheard recently in a bar that diapers are good for washing cars;
didn't hang around enough that they did _not_ mean soiled ones from the
pail.
D) hose
Felix: Bought one "just like the F1 teams use", according to the boutique
car-accessory catalog; nine layers, genuine natural rubber and Chinese silk.
Burstproof, and cannot scratch the car. Available in your choice of Ferrari
or Benneton colors.
Oscar: Calls 911 and reports a car fire. When fire truck arrives, asks "Hey,
can I borrow that hose for a few minutes"?
E) detailing:
Felix: Inspects an entire box of Q-tips under microscope, and combs out any
loose strands for trimming.
Oscar: Finally caught that mouse; indeed, the mousetrap makes a convenient
handle.
F) location:
Felix: Rents a local body shop's paint booth, for a dust free environment
with plenty of light. Plays soothing Andean music and lights an Aromatherapy
candle called "Catatonic Calm".
Oscar: Parks car on shoulder of freeway ramp, right where smoke-belching
semis are merging. Passes gas continuously from burger-joint lunch, which
overpowers the smell of the exhaust. Turns on radio to first station he
finds -- Navy Marching Band's tribute to Metallica -- and sets volume at
"10", which mercifully blows the speakers before the battery is completely
dead.
(feel free to add to this)
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