Dear Doctor Laifman,
I was very pleased to receive your response, as I was expecting to hear from
you. When it comes to medical diagnoses, I have always considered it prudent
to have a second opinion. Frankly, I prefer your recommendation for internal
consumption of grain neutral spirits to those of Dr. Bob. I wonder why he did
not also prescribe this for me, if, as you claim, he, himself, has been on
this regimen for 45 years? Metamucil my ass!
I regret to inform you, however, that since the cost of even one 750 ml
container of Johnny Walker Black Label is prohibitive for peasants such as
myself, that your consultation fee is, like most doctors these days, far
beyond what I could ever be reasonably expected to pay. Thus, since it would
be unethical for me to implement your treatment without compensating you, I
guess my condition, and therefore my outlook on life, will therefore continue
untreated and unabated. For some, I fear, this will undoubtedly represent bad
news. But for me, it really creates the least amount of gas pains, so I will
just have to continue to live with it.
{9->
Dick Barker
Acct. # B9499999
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