A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog don't talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
me
to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me brushes me down
often,
and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements."
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie."
********************************
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks,
he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for
help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer
doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display
his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are
pregnant.The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead
will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought.He comes to the conclusion that
artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.
So, he loads the sheep into his Landrover, drives them out into
the woods, hassex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.Next
morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.
Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the Landrover again. He drives them out to the
woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure brings them back and goes to
bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them
out to the woods.He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning
home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to lookat the
sheep.He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the
grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the
Landrover and one of them is beeping the horn."
-Lena
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
HotJobs - Search new jobs daily now
/// unsubscribe/change address requests to majordomo@autox.team.net or try
/// http://www.team.net/mailman/listinfo
/// Archives at http://www.team.net/archive/team-thicko
|