Just so all you corn guys and gals don't think we have sheep here in New
England, I give you the following:
A Mainer and Vermonter were out hunting when they came across a ewe with her
head stuck between one of our picturesque split rail fences. The Vermonter
told the Mainer, "That's a tragedy." "Tragedy?", the Mainer replied, "That's
no tragedy. That's what we Mainers call 'opportunity' ". With that, the
Mainer approached the hapless ewe and had his way with her. Upon finishing,
he told the Vermonter, "Ok, now it's your turn" . The Vermonter replied, "
No way you're getting me to stick my head through that fence!"
Had enough?, If not:
A prospector's been out in the wilderness searching for gold for 20 years
when he finally hits the mother lode. He comes into the nearest town laden
with gold and heads for the nearest saloon. He tells the barkeep, "I
haven't had a drink or a woman for twenty years and I'm lookin' to get my
fill tonight." The bartender replies, "I can help you with the whiskey, but
all our women left town when the stakes dried up. All I've got to offer you
is that pen of sheep out back, $20 and you can take your pick." "Sheep?",
the prospector replied, " Well if that's all you got, that's what I be
takin'" With that he put down $20 worth of gold nuggets on the bar and
proceeded out back to find a date for the evening. He found the prettiest
ewe there and brought her back to the bar. As soon as he stepped through the
swinging doors, the piano player stopped playing and all the cowboys dove for
cover under the tables. The prospector, asked the bartender, "What the hell
is goin' on?" "What're you crazy?" the saloonkeeeper asked, "That there is
Black Bart's girl you've got there!"
Now you know why I have a day job. With apologies to Gary.
Rick
|