You know you joined a cheap new HMO when...
10. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter
the trailer park."
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "An apple a day."
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill
last month.
4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges"
(This is not a typo.)
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with
little "M"s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO .
1. You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
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