Before any of you "men" go out for an oil change,
let me know first and I will take the $4,150.00
add to my measly little amount, buy myself an LBC,
take your car for the oil change myself,,enjoy
a cup of coffee while waiting and pay the $21.00
out of "your" money for "your" oil change and even
bring you a cup of coffee back as a "bonus" for
"allowing" me to be of "SERVICE"
to you...lol lol lol Maybe I will chip in some
change if you are nice, Na, mabye a case of beer and
you will be happy...forget the change..!!!! lol lol
lol
> Subject: Fwd: Oil change financials NO LBC!!!
> To: breeanna1012000@yahoo.com
>
>
>
> >
> > I thought we all could use a laugh so, here
> > goes.........
> >
> > Oil Change instructions for Women:
> >
> > 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches
> > 3000
> > miles since the last oil change.
> >
> > 2) Drink a cup of coffee.
> >
> > 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with
> a
> > properly maintained vehicle.
> >
> > Cost:
> >
> > * Oil Change $20.00
> >
> > * Coffee $1.00
> >
> > * Total $21.00.
> >
> > Oil Change instructions for Men:
> >
> > 1) Go to auto parts store and write check for
> $50.00
> >
> > for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a
> > scented tree.
> >
> > 2) Discover that the used oil container is full.
> > Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly's to
> recycle,
> > dump in hole in back yard.
> >
> > 3) Open a beer and drink it.
> >
> > 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack
> > stands.
> >
> > 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> >
> > 6) In frustration, open another beer an
> > d drink it.
> >
> > 7) Place drain pan under engine.
> >
> > 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench
> >
> > 9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
> >
> > 10) Unscrew drain plug.
> >
> > 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil
> > on
> > you in the process.
> >
> > 12) Clean up mess.
> >
> > 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> >
> > 14) Look for oil filter wrench.
> >
> > 15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and
> > twist off.
> >
> > 16) Beer.
> >
> > 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
> > Finish oil change tomorrow.
> >
> > 18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from
> > under
> > car.
> >
> > 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step
> > 18.
> >
> > 20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday
> >
> > 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
> >
> > 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a
> > thin
> > coat of oil to gasket surface.
> >
> > 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> >
> > 24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
> >
> >
> > 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> >
> > 26) Discover that the drain plug is buried in a
> hole
> > in
> > the back yard along with used oil. (IDIOT!!)
> >
> > 27) Drink beer.
> >
> > 28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
> >
> > 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now
> on
> >
> > the floor.
> >
> > 30) Drink beer.
> >
> > 31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and
> bang
> > knuckles on frame.
> >
> > 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step
> 31.
> >
> >
> > 33) Begin cussing fit.
> >
> > 34) Throw wrench.
> >
> > 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench
> > hit
> > Miss December(1992) in the left boob.
> >
> > 36) Beer.
> >
> > 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as
> > required to stop blood flow.
> >
> > 38) Beer.
> >
> > 39) Beer
> >
> > 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
> >
> > 41) Beer.
> >
> > 42) Lower car from jack stands.
> >
> > 43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
> >
> > 44) Move car back,
> > apply more kitty litter to fresh
> > oil spilled during step 23.
> >
> > 45) Beer.
> >
> > 46) Test drive car.
> >
> > 47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under
> the
> > influence.
> >
> > 48) Car gets impounded.
> >
> > 49) Make bail.
> >
> > 50) Get car from impound yard.
> >
> > Cost:
> >
> > * Parts $50.00
> >
> > * DUI $2500.00
> >
> > * Impound fee $75.00
> >
> > * Bail $1500.00
> >
> > * Beer $25.00
> >
> > * Total-- $4,150.00
> >
> > -- But you know the job was done right!
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