Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew..."
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do
not ask us. We refuse to answer.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it
down. When you're done with the toilet seat,
put it back up.
3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always
more attractive than short hair. One of the big
reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then, you
are stuck with her.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are
not quests to see if we can find the perfect
present yet again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you.
Live with it.
7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation
and monster trucks.
8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never
going to think of it that way.
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear is fine. Really.
11. You have enough clothes.
12. You have too many shoes.
13. Crying is blackmail.
14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not
work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never
will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We
are bound to miss sometimes.
18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what
makes you think we'd be any good at choosing
which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your dress?
19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
20. Come to us with a problem only if you
want help solving it. That is what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is
a problem. See a doctor.
22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
23. Check your oil!
24. Do not fake it. We would rather be
ineffective than deceived.
25. It is neither in your best interest nor ours
to take the quiz together.
26. No, it does not matter which quiz.
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