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Non LBC joke x-mac-creator="4D4F5353"

To: "spridgets@autox.team.net" <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Subject: Non LBC joke x-mac-creator="4D4F5353"
Date: Sat, 11 Aug 2001 15:27:52 -0400
Here is one that I like a lot.  Hope there isn't any professional
athletes on the list.
Roy Rogers

Why  Athletes Shouldn't Be Role Models...

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the  upcoming
season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football commentator  and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
 "Nobody in football should be called a  genius. A genius is a guy like
 Norman  Einstein."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Senior  basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on  time, no matter how long it  takes."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill Peterson, a  Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."  And "You guys pair up in
 groups of three, then line up in a  circle."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stu Grimson,  Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
 color photo of  himself above his locker:
 "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I  can still find my
clothes."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shaquille  O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his
visit to Greece:
"I  can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went  to."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shaquille O'Neal, on  his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and  pro."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lou Duva, veteran  boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew  Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what

 time it is."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Pat  Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27
record in1992:
 "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I
just can't figure out where else to  play."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chuck Nevitt, North  Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he  appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know  if I'm going to be an
uncle or an  aunt."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim Finks, New  Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked after a
loss what he thought of the  refs:
"I'm not allowed to comment on lousy no good  officiating."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alan Kulwicki,  stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed
to Sunday afternoons:  "It's basically the same, just  darker."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Torrin Polk,  University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us  like men. He lets us wear  earrings."
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shelby Metcalf,  basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received  four F's and one D:"Son, looks to me like
you're
spending too much time on  one subject."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the Gem
Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
wife on all road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too damn ugly to  kiss goodbye."



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