Fwd: y2k poem

[Larry Macy <macy@bblmail.psycha.upenn.edu>]

  'TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
  By Mark J. Bishop

  'TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
  AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
  NOT ONE PC WAS WORKING
  NOT EVEN A MOUSE.

  I TURNED ON THE POWER
  BUT NOTHING WAS WORKING
  I GRAB THE COMPUTER
  AND START BANGING AND JERKING.

  I LAID OUT THREE GRAND
  FOR THIS BIG PIECE OF JUNK
  ON JANUARY 1ST
  THE DAMN THING WENT "KERPLUNK"!

  WHEN I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW
  IT MADE SUCH A CLATTER
  MY NEIGHBOR JUST CALLED
  TO SEE WHAT'S THE MATTER.

  I TURNED ON THE TV
  THE CABLE IS DOWN
  MY MICROWAVE OVEN
  IS MAKING WEIRD SOUNDS.

  MY NEW VCR
  IS AS DEAD AS A ROCK
  NOT ONE LIGHT IS BLINKING
  NOT EVEN THE CLOCK.

  IT'S TWENTY BELOW
  THE PEAK OF SNOW SEASON
  THE FURNACE WON'T WORK
  THE PIPES ARE ALL FREEZING

  THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
  AT A WORSE TIME
  I THINK I HAVE FROSTBITE
  ON MY BEHIND.

  I LAUGHED FOR A SECOND
  AND THOUGHT IT ALL FUNNY
  THEN A CALL FROM MY BANK
  IN REGARDS TO MY MONEY.

  "WE MANAGED YOUR PENSION
  AND SAVINGS WITH CARE
  BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON
  YOUR MONEY'S NOT THERE
  WE WERE Y2K READY
  WE'D THOUGHT WE'D BE HEROES
  BUT REGRET TO INFORM YOU
  YOUR BALANCE IS..ZERO"!

  I DROP THE RECEIVER
  TO THE BATHROOM I RUSH
  I PUSH DOWN THE HANDLE
  THE TOILET WON'T FLUSH.

  I TURNED ON THE FAUCET
  NOT ONE DROP HITS THE SINK
  I HEAD OUT THE DOOR
  TO THE PUB FOR A DRINK.

  I JUMP IN THE CAR
  TURN THE KEY IN THE SWITCH
  IT ONLY GOES "CLICK"
  I SCREAM,"SON OF A BITCH!"

  A COMPUTERIZED IGNITION
  HAS JUST SEALED MY FATE
  NOT SET UP
  FOR THE "2000" DATE.

  I TWITCH LIKE A MADMAN
  THIS CANNOT BE TRUE
  NO CAR, HEAT, OR MONEY
  WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO.

  SHOUTING OBSCENITIES
  AS I RAN OUT OF SIGHT
  HAPPY Y2K TO ALL
  IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!


Douglas S. Bonin
KRBDAD@aol.com
----------------- End Forwarded Message -----------------

Larry Macy
78 Midget

Keep your top down and your chin up.

Larry B. Macy, Ph.D.
macy@bblmail.psycha.upenn.edu
System Manager/Administrator
Neuropsychiatry Section
Department of Psychiatry
University of Pennsylvania
3400 Spruce St. - 10 Gates
Philadelphia, PA 19104

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