Hey $250 bucks is $250 bucks........................
----- Original Message -----
From: "Richard Feibusch" <rfeibusch1@earthlink.net>
To: <spitfires@autox.team.net>; <triumphs@autox.team.net>;
<british-cars@autox.team.net>; <mg-t@autox.team.net>; <mgs@autox.team.net>;
<morris@autox.team.net>; <VTR@autox.team.net>; <morgans@autox.team.net>;
<healeys@autox.team.net>
Sent: Friday, July 29, 2005 11:33 AM
Subject: Auto Erotic????
> This just in from Reader Dave Barry:
>
> SAN FRANCISCO - A man who compared a woman's anatomy to a carburetor won
an
> annual contest that celebrates the worst writing in the English language.
>
> Dan McKay, a computer analyst at Microsoft Great Plains in Fargo, N.D.,
> bested thousands of entrants from North Pole, Alaska to Manchester,
England
> to triumph Wednesday in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton
> Fiction Contest.
>
> "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg
> carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire," he wrote, comparing a
woman's
> breasts to "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners."
>
> The competition highlights literary achievements of the most dubious
sort -
> terrifyingly bad sentences that take their inspiration from minor writer
> Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began,
> "It was a dark and stormy night."
>
> "We want writers with a little talent, but no taste," San Jose State
> English Professor Scott Rice said. "And Dan's entry was just ludicrous."
>
> McKay was is in China and could not be reached to comment about his status
> as a world-renowned wretched writer. He will receive $250.
>
> Rice said the challenge began as a worst paragraph contest, but judges
soon
> realized no one should have to wade through so much putrid prose - such as
> this zinger, which took a dishonorable mention.
>
> "The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren
> terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the
> morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch
> menu," wrote Lester Guyse, a retired fraud investigator in Portland, Ore.
>
> "That was the least favorite of the five I entered, but you win any way
you
> can," Guyse said.
>
> Ken Aclin, of Shreveport, La., won the Grand Panjandrum's Award for his
> shocking similes and abusive use of adjectives. He wrote that India "hangs
> like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia."
>
> "I just saw that washcloth hanging in the shower and it looked like
India,"
> he said. "I'll be doggone."
|