This looks a lot like Egan. Some good ones.
> >Subject: The truth about tools
> >
> >
> >HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
> >used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from
> >the object we are trying to hit.
> >
> >MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
> >cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well
> >on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
> >
> >ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in
their
> >holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling
> >mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the
rear
> >wheel.
> >
> >PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
> >
> >HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the original sin
> >principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
> >motion, and the more you attempt to influenceits course, the more dismal
> >your future becomes.
> >
> >VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
> >they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of
> >your hand.
> >
> >OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
> >objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside
> >a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
> >
> >WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> >motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" or
1/2"
> >socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
> >
> >DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
> >metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
> >flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against that freshly
> >painted part you were drying.
> >
> >WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere
under
> >the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls
and
> >hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say,
> >"Ouc...."
> >
> >HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after
> >you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack
> >handle firmly under the front fender.
> >
> >EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle upward
> >off a hydraulic jack.
> >
> >TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
> >
>
>
>
>
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>
--
Paul T. Root E/Mail: proot@iaces.com
600 Stinson Blvd, Fl 1S PAG: +1 (877) 693-7155
Minneapolis, MN 55413 WRK: +1 (612) 664-3385
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