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No LBC Content -"Moron test" - humor

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: No LBC Content -"Moron test" - humor
From: Florrie & Allen Bachelder <bachldrs@swva.net>
Date: Sat, 8 May 1999 12:29:05 -0400
>>>This is the Official Moron Test.  Answer the following 13
>>>questions, then scroll down and check your answers. DON'T CHEAT!
>>>
>>>Try to finish within 5 minutes. When you are done, count the number
>>>correct and see how you compare to others. OK, here goes...
>>>
>>> 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
>>>
>>> 2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
>>>
>>> 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
>>>
>>> 4. How many outs are there in an inning?
>>>
>>> 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister.
>>>
>>> 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do
>>>    you get?
>>>
>>> 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are
>>>    you left with?
>>>
>>> 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every
>>>    half an hour. How long will the pills last?
>>>
>>> 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep
>>>    are left?
>>>
>>>10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
>>>
>>>11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
>>>
>>>12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
>>>
>>>13. What was the President's name in 1960?
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>         ***NO CHEATING***
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>So how do you think you did? Here are the answers....
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
>>>     Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
>>>
>>> 2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
>>>     One (1). You can only be born once.
>>>
>>> 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
>>>     Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
>>>
>>> 4. How many outs are there in an inning?
>>>     Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to
>>>     every inning.
>>>
>>> 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his
>>>    widow's sister?
>>>     No. He must be dead if it is his widow.
>>>
>>> 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10.
>>>    What do you get?
>>>     Seventy (70).  Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.
>>>
>>> 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples
>>>    are you left with?
>>>     Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO apples.
>>>
>>> 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every
>>>    half and hour. How long will the pills last?
>>>     One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at
>>>     1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only
>>>     one hour has passed.
>>>
>>> 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep
>>>    are left?
>>>     Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.
>>>
>>>10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
>>>     None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.
>>>
>>>11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
>>>    Meat...that is self-explanatory.
>>>
>>>12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
>>>    Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE...it's a dozen.
>>>
>>>13. What was the President's name in 1960?
>>>    Bill Clinton.  As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.
>>>
>>>
>>>So, how did you do?
>>>
>>>   13 correct...........GENIUS...you are good.
>>>10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.
>>> 7- 9 correct..........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?
>>> 4- 6 correct.............SLOW...pay attention to the questions!
>>> 1- 3 correct............IDIOT...what else can be said?
>>>    0 correct..CONGRATULATIONS...you are a Certified MORON!
>>>
>>
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>  Allen H. Bachelder
>  Associate Professor of Trumpet =iii=<
>  Phone: 540/231-6713
>  Fax: 540/231-5034
>  Department of Music, Box 0240
>  Virginia Tech
>  Blacksburg, VA 24061
>       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>

******************************************
         Allen H. Bachelder  =iii=<
         Sinking Creek Home for Wayward MGs
         New Castle, VA 24127
         USA
         540/544-7333
******************************************



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