I DO NOT CONDONE OR AGREE WITH ANYTHING STATED HEREIN
>From: "Mike Jarzyna" <mjar@ix.netcom.com>
>To: "Susan Madson" <Wnts2sing@aol.com>, "Sam Mandell"
<WormW00d@hotmail.com>,
> "Pamelia Janae Stephens" <ironbutterfly@mailexcite.com>,
> "Oskar Milik" <lordskar@hotmail.com>,
> "Melissa" <melissakb@lycosmail.com>, "maire" <maire@home.com>,
> "Kiara Schwartz" <kiaraschwartz@bluewin.ch>,
> "Jameel Sayani" <js1721@hotmail.com>,
> "Derek Schwartz" <d_schwartz@bluewin.ch>,
> "delia21" <delia21@webtv.net>, "Daniel Sacks"
<dsacks_aza@idmail.com>,
> "Ben Carufel" <bphotoman@hotmail.com>, "Alex Berry"
<Aberry@direct.ca>
>Subject: Fw: Things A Southerner ("Suth-uhr-nuhr") Would Never Say...
>Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1998 20:14:54 -0700
>
>
>
>>>
>>>The top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say ever, no
>>>matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the
South
>>>they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening...
>>>
>>>39. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
>>>38. Duct tape won't fix that.
>>>37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
>>>36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>>>35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>>>34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>>>33. You can't feed that to the dog.
>>>32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
>>>31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
>>>30. Wrasslin's fake.
>>>29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>>>28. We're vegetarians.
>>>27. Do you think my hair is too big?
>>>26. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
>>>25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
>>>24. Who's Richard Petty?
>>>23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>>>22. Deer heads detract from the decor.
>>>21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.
>>>20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>>>19. Trim the fat off that steak.
>>>18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>>>17. The tires on that truck are too big.
>>>16. I'll have the arugula and radiccio salad.
>>>15. I've got it all on a floppy disk.
>>>14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>>>13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>>>12. My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>>>11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>>>10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
>>>9. Checkmate.
>>>8. She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
>>>7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>>>6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen
>>>5. I don't have a favorite college team.
>>>4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>>>3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
>>>2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>>>
>>>And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
>>>
>>>1. Elvis who?
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
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