Euro English
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first
year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "C". Sertainly, sivil servants
will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with
"k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one
less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the
removal of double letters which have lways ben a deterent to akurate
speling, Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be,
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze
fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters After
zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer,
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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