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Welcome to the List

To: Mike Lishego <mikesl@tartan.sapc.edu>
Subject: Welcome to the List
From: Robert Allen <boballen@sky.net>
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 15:38:11 -0600
Mike Lishego wrote:

> miker15@juno.com wrote:
> > I believe the term decided upon yesterday was "bigoted asshole"
>
> Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten already...I love it when I'm labeled 
><snip>!
> (No offense Mike, unless you originally made the "bigoted asshole" 
>statement..8*))

Okay, already. Perhaps I was over the line. I hereby stand corrected. No one on 
this
list has ever proven themselves to be a bigot!

****
Mr. Simon Matthews,

Welcome to this august group of individuals. We welcome intelligent, 
knowledgeable,
and witty dialog. It would be a refreshing change. You will find all the men 
great
companions, if somewhat dull compared to yourself. The women on the list are all
slender, ten years your junior, and, if you ever met, would probably do you 
sober.

You can rest assured that the 'A' folks will volunteer more opinions than you 
ever
thought to ask. They are very, very bright, as a whole, because they only drive 
their
cars when the weather outside is within 2 degrees of the weather inside -- they 
spend
the rest of their time reading books about cars, Internet emoticons, and
relationships.

The 'T' folks are forever diligent to correct any generalizations. They also 
pass
along useful insights on weird wrenches, odd gear ratios, and how to survive on 
road
trips when everything else is going 40MPH+ faster than you. (Recent tech tip: 
removing
bird poop on the inside of the windscreen.)

The 'B' folks will chime in on technical points as if you cared what 
rubber-bumper
pilots endure. There are still a few good chrome bumper cars owners on this 
list but
we are weeding them out as fast as we can.

The Midget folks are the Sibyls of MG-dom as they can't seem to remember if 
they are
powered by the mighty 'A' series motor (which has nothing to do with your 'A') 
or the
limp-wristed TR S*itfire. And if that isn't distracting enough, they are 
frustrated
that the list gods won't give them their own list (or at least one that isn't
write-only).

There are a few rugged, intelligent, handsome, charismatic, and generally 
wonderful
people who also frequent list -- the small group who mostly agree with me.

My only words of advice are

1.) don't take any of this personally because as, after all, no one actually
     knows you personally,
2.) never dump your used oil south of the 49th parallel,
3.) ask all the questions you want but one to a post is best for a response
4.) be somewhat sensitive to all the people in the world that do not have a
     sense of humor (and then ignore them),
5.) when you make fun of the 'A' crowd (and the opportunities are
    limitless) always run the text through your spell checker.

Welcome to the LBC Underworld.

BTW, IMHO, LBC = Lunatics Bragging about Cars
--
Bob Allen, Kansas City, '69CGT, '75TR6, '61Elva(?)
"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have 
enlightened him
with ours."



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