I saw this on another list and found it somewhat credible!!
Carol
>What car ads really mean:
>
>Always Garaged - The local garage made a fortune on this car. -
>we had it there every week.
>
>Drive Anywhere - Preferably out of state so we won't have to look
>at it anymore.
>
>Easily Restorable - Bring your own baskets.
>
>Formerly owned by Elvis - One of just 473 cars owned by The King
>and, like 470 of the others, has no documentation.
>
>Good Paint - Neither very good, nor excellent, nor superior; just
>good.
>
>Interesting History - A gangster was found dead in the trunk six
>months after he disappeared.
>
>Low Mileage - Car was used only on the drag strip where high
>mileage seldom accumulates. Or, we never could get it started
>again after the flood of '72. Or, The odometer broke when the car
>was six months old.
>
>Mechanical Restoration Complete - We painted the engine.
>
>Mint Condition - Made In Northern Tibet
>
>Needs Restoration - Also needs John D. Rockefeller to pay for it.
>
>98% complete - The average car has 10,000 pieces; this means only
>200 are missing.
>
>No title - It's hard to get one for a stolen car.
>
>Only 40,000 miles - All of them in the Baja.
>
>Rapidly Appreciating - You will quickly appreciate that you paid
>too much for this car.
>
>Solid Car - especially the engine, which has been frozen solid
>for ten years.
>
>Sure Prize Winner - If they ever start judging at night.
>
>Totally Original - Never washed, waxed, tuned up or maintained in
>any way.
>
>Ralph Rankin
>'67 Camaro
>'84 Firebird
>
>
>
>
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