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Re: Dratted cats!

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Dratted cats!
From: ckr <ragthyme@fls.infi.net>
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1996 12:43:34 -0500
> On Mon, 21 Oct 1996, W. R. Gibbons wrote:
> 
> >
> > I just returned from 2 weeks away, and haven't had time to read my
> > messages, but I was disturbed to find that a neighbor's cat had put a
> > footprint on the hood of my car.  Of course, I am enraged all to hell
> > about this.
> >
> > Any ideas out there how I can keep this from happening?  No suggestion is
> > too extreme, as I am a dog lover.
> > (Sorry folks, the devil made me do it.)


Ray:

What a passel of problems you have! The solutions are simple, of course.

Tying a knot in the radiator hose is NOT recommended. That's an old wives' 
tale. The 
true solution is, in fact, to PERFORATE the upper radiator hose. Although an 
awl or 
punch is useful, the correct spacing for the holes may be achieved with the use 
of a 
four-tined dinner fork.  As a result of this innovation, your engine will be 
cooled 
not only from the inside, but from the outside, as well.  Of course, you have 
to 
check the fluid periodically; every 1000 miles or so should be enough. If you 
re-rout the breather pipe from the engine through the overflow on the radiator, 
it 
will also cool your oil, thus giving you a double-cooling. I've seen this work 
in 
thousands of applications!

The cat problem is also easily solved. If you can obtain 10-12 US Army claymore 
anti-personnel mines, and ring your garage with them, it should take care not 
only 
of the pesky cat problem, but also any unwanted solicitors, revolting 
neighbourhood 
urchins, and any nosy neighbours, too.  It's a wonderful solution, and one you 
don't 
have to monitor continously. Be certain to turn up the volume on your 
television a 
couple of notches during the implementation, however, as the noise tends to 
interfere with pleasurable viewing.

Corey
75 MGB 'Rags'
RD#373750

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