Along the computer strand we had a few days ago, this just came to my
attention.
Wes
----------
From: "Paul Schlecht" <vicar@ptd.net>
Date: Sat, 14 Dec 2002 20:00:00 -0500
To: "Wes Potter" <wes@saltflats.com>
Subject: Fw: computer programs
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had
operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0
un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
**********************************************************************
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command
C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember,
overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0. They could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default
to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been
known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such
applications as that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with
improved performance of his hardware).
Good Luck.
Tech Support
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