Heres what Andy Rooney Says; ( Try to "think" like he speaks...)
The cheap way to do a television show is to have guests you don't pay. For
that reason, there are more television shows that want guests than there are
people who are any good at being one.
I've been a guest on a lot of shows and it isn't the thing I do best. I was
on the David Letterman show once and he said I was the worst guest he ever
had.
I taped an hour interview with Charlie Rose last year and it was so bad they
never ran it.
I was on Don Imus' televised radio show. Imus is dirtier than necessary but
very good. He pleads ignorance but he gets more information out of network
correspondents than the networks who pay them do.
I was on with Regis and Kathy Lee Gifford, trying to sell a book I wrote.
I'm not sure the audience for that show reads a lot of books.
Larry King is the master and it's hard to figure out why he's so good. But
for one thing ,he listens to the answers to his questions. He isn't looking
to see what the next question is when you're talking.
I tried to show Martha Stewart how to make ice cream on television.
I'd heard Martha was hard to get along with but that's not true. Martha
Stewart is impossible to get along with.
STEWART: What's the name of your dairy?
ROONEY: You're trying to stop me from talking.
ROONEY: Am I going to tell this story or are you going to tell this story.
STEWART: Do you remember the name of your dairy?
ROONEY: Yeah!
STEWART: What was the name?
ROONEY: It was Mannings...
STEWART: Ours was Cerami...
ROONEY: Yeah...
Three times I told her not to put eggs in ice cream. She agreed with me.
STEWART: There are no eggs, which I like that idea a lot.
ROONEY: No eggs...if you put eggs in it, it's custard..
A month later, she was on The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel, making ice
cream, and there she was - putting eggs in it.
STEWART: "Six egg yolks into a bowl of a mixer and you beat these up.."
I knew she wasn't listening.
I like Martha anyway.
I was on the ABC "Good Morning America" show last year with Diane Sawyer.
Diane's a friend. It's sort of unfair to go on a show with a friend.
My favorite interview show is in Boston. It's called Greater Boston. Here I
was with the host, my daughter, Emily, and another guest, her brother,
Brian.
People want to know if Emily and Brian ask me for advice.
No. But they're always calling to tell me what I did wrong.
I'd like to have my own interview show someday. I'd interview Jack Kevorkian
in prison; David Letterman to see how bad a guest I could make him look. I'd
interview Charlie Rose but I wouldn't run it and Martha Stewart, I wouldn't
let her talk.
....HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS AS MUCH AS I DID!
-Doug Anderson in exile,in NuYawk,
-now the armpit of the universe, and where Andy grew up (in Albany )
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