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I got this from a good friend of mine and thought it was interesting.
>
> GASOLINE
> >
> > This makes more sense than the don't buy gas on a
> > certain day routine that was going around in April
> > or May of last year to try to achieve lowering
> > Gasoline Prices!
> > Whoever started this has a good point.
> >
> > By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced
> > at about $1.49 is cheap. Me too! As it is now
> > $1.58 for regular unleaded. Now that the oil
> > companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned
> > us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP
> > at less than $1.50, we need to try an aggressive response.
> >
> > With the price of gasoline going up more each day,
> > we consumers need to take action. The only way
> > we are going to see the price of gas come down is
> > if we don't buy it. But, that's not really a practical
> > option since we all have come to rely on our cars.
> > But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we
> > all act together.
> >
> > Here's the idea :
> > For the rest of this year...DON"T purchase gasoline
> > from the two biggest companies (which now are one),
> > EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling, they
> > should be inclined to reduce their prices - and if they
> > reduce their prices the other companies will too. But
> > to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions
> > of users. But it IS...doable!
> >
> > I am sending this note to 42 people. If each of you
> > send it to at least 10 more ...and those 10 send it
> > to at least 10 more ... and so on, by the time the
> > message reaches the sixth iteration,we will have
> > reached over one million consumers. Acting
> > together we can make a difference.
> >
> > If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.
> >
> > PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR
> > PRICES TO $1.28 - $1.29 AND KEEP THEM DOWN.
> > THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
> > If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Joe and salesman
Rated R
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he
was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal
hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came
across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure
your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press
up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of
a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the
testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to
live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided
he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he
was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the
street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could
make a new beginning and live a new life.
He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I
need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd
like a new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in
the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16
and a half neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the
collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half
wide."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked
comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new
hat?"
Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8."
Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman
asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!"
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...
size 36."
Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give
you one hell of a headache!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
*** A real runway model
The flight controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on
downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to
provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two
thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four
thousand dollars worth!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an
important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic
probation and not allowed to play in the big game the
following week. The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last
question read, "Old MacDonald had a_____." Bubba was stumped
-- he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to
get this one right to be sure he passed.
Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in
the shoulder. "Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?"
Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor
hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, "Bubba, you're
so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM."
"Oh yeah," said Bubba, "I remember now." he picked up his No.
2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then
he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered,
"Tiny, how do you spell farm?"
"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy," hissed Tiny,
"farm is spelled 'E-I-E-I-O'."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Genius question #1
A man leaves home. He comes to the first corner, makes a left turn, and
proceeds straight. He then comes to the second corner, makes another
left turn, and proceeds straight again. He then comes to a third corner,
makes another left turn, and proceeds straight again. When he gets back
home, their are 2 men waiting for him both wearing a mask. What is his
occupation?
(Scroll down for answers.)
><><>
Genius question #2
There is a Big Indian and a Little Indian. The Little Indian is the son
of the Big Indian, but the Big Indian IS NOT the Little Indian's father.
Who is the Big Indian?
(Answer is below)
1) A baseball player. The 2 men waiting for him wearing a mask at home
(plate) are the catcher and the umpire.
2. The mother. People always assume a man on this one. That is what throws
them off.
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