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Return-path: Bpolistoon@aol.com
From: Bpolistoon@aol.com
Full-name: Bpolistoon
Message-ID: <9.1516273.25c0d1a0@aol.com>
Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2000 17:39:28 EST
Subject: weather?
MIME-Version: 1.0
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To: undisclosed-recipients:;
<< Official Upstate New York Temperature Conversion Chart
60 degrees
Folks in New Jersey turn up their furnaces.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens and go swimming.
50 to 59 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe, trying hard not to get cloud burns.
40 to 49 degrees
Most Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with their windows down.
32 to 40 degrees
Distilled water begins to freeze.
Cayuga Lake's water gets a little thicker.
20 to 29 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt when they go outside.
15 to 19 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
Zero to 15 degrees - People in Miami all die...........Upstaters go to
the drive-in for ice cream.
Zero to 20 below
Californians move south; Mexico declares an immigration crisis.
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
20 to 40 below
Washington D.C. is abandoned by professional politicians; the Federal
government grinds to a complete halt.
Upstate NY Girl Scouts in are selling cookies door to door.
40 to 60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Upstate Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
60 to 80 below
Chicagoans absolutely refuse to venture outdoors, even when out of
kielbasa, making the city a virtual ghost town.
People in Upstate NY swing by the store on their way home to rent some
extra videos and get some cold Molson's and more milk.
80 to 100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole and moves operations to North
Carolina for the balmy weather and non-union labor.
Upstaters get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg of Genny they
had stored in the basement.
100 to 297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Upstate NY complain about farmers with cold hands.
297 to 460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in Upstate NY start greeting each other with...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below Zero
Hell freezes over.
The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl.
>>
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