Actual call center conversations!
? ?Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;
can you help?"
? ?Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
? ?Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
? ?Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
? ?Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
? ?Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
? ?Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to "?unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning"?. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
? ?Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
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RAC Motoring Services
? ?Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in
Australia?"
? ?Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to
change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
? ?Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
? ?Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is
correct?"
? ?Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off
the sign."
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: ? "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told
a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."
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? ?Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: ? "OK."
? ?Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
? ?Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: ? "No."
? ? Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
? ?Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the
'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: ? "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need
it. ?So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
again?"
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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy
should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect
Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she
is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without
Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: ? "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
? ?Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
? ?Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
Operator: "Went away?"
? ?Caller: "They disappeared"
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
? ?Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
? ?Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
? ?Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
? ?Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
? ?Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I
type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
? ?Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when its on ? ?
? ?Caller: ? "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
? ?Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall.
? ?Caller: ? "Yes, it is."
Operator: ? "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
? ?Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
? ?Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."
? ?Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
? ?Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
? ?Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because
it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
? ?Caller: ? "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
Operator: ? "Well, turn on the office light then."
? ?Caller: "I can't."
Operator: ? "No? Why not??"
? ?Caller: ? "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came
in??"
? ?Caller: ? "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
? ?Caller: ? "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
? ?Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
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