1. A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is
synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.
What's your secret?"Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
2. Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody5-iron
standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is thatyour
husband?" "Yes", says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golfclub?" "Yes,
yes I
did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
The cop asks her: "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six,
maybe seven times....just put me down for a five."
3. A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit
his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between
two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took
another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back,hit him in the forehead
and
killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming
and asked, "Are you a good golfer?", to which the man replied, " I got here in
two, didn't I?"
4. The bride came down the aisle and when she reached thealtar, the groom
was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at hisside. She said "What are
your golf clubs doing here?" He looked her right in the eye and said, "This
isn't going to take allday, is it?"
Best--Michael Oritt
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