Boy, you sound like you from "off". You also sound
like you have acclimated, which is good, but as Lewis
Grizzard used to say to those who didn't like the new
found southern customs - "Delta is ready when you
are"...
Mike
SC
--- Mark Goodman <mkgoodman@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> If you are from the South you will really appreciate
> this.
>
>
>
>
>
> Subject: North & South
>
> The North has Bloomingdales, The South has Dollar
> General
>
> The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle
> Houses.
>
> The North has dating services, The South has family
> reunions.
>
> The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee
> Press-on Nails.
>
> The North has double last names, The South has
> double first names.
>
> The North has Indy car races, The South has stock
> car races.
>
>
>
> North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
>
> The North has green salads, The South has collard
> greens.
>
> The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.
>
> The North has the rust belt, The South has the
> Bible Belt.
>
> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South:
> --If you run your car
> into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel
> drive pickup truck
> with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to
> help them, just
> stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
>
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait
> in the same
> store....do not buy food at this store.
>
> Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is
> plural, and "all y'all's"
> is plural possessive.
>
> Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are
> ya?"
>
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
> instructed later on how
> to use it.
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people
> are saying. They
> can't understand you either. The first Southern
> statement to creep into
> a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the
> adjective "big'ol," truck
> or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their
> Southern-influenced
> dialect this way. All of them are in denial about
> it.
>
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is
> no longer proper.
>
>
> Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid
> defense here
>
>
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all,
> watch this," you should
> stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last
> words he'll ever
> say.
>
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance
> of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at
> the local grocery
> store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything
> or not. You just
> have to go there.
>
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own
> their own shotguns,
> they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas
> taught them how to aim.
>
> In the South, we have found that the best way to
> grow a lush green lawn
> is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
>
> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and
> bear children, don't
> think we will accept them as Southerners. After all,
> if the cat had
> kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
>
> Send this to four people that ain't related to you,
> and I reckon your
> life will turn into a country music song 'fore you
> know it.
>
> Your kin would get a kick out of it too!
|