Periodically, a radio station in San Francisco devotes an hour to jokes sent in
by listeners. Here are a few that were read today (sorry if you have heard
them before. I hadn't. And if you wanted 'G' rated, consider their security
classification 'DBR' - Destroy Before Reading ).
FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, he's not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a
bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a s..t .
* * * * * * *
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made
love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would
break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle
of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked
down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device...a
vibrator! Soft, wonderful and quite large. She went completely ballistic. "You
impotent jerk," She screamed at him, "How could you lie to me all of these
years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the
toy . . . you explain the kids."
* * * * * * *
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical
procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash
your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she
overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises
his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting
and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing
wrong with them, Sir!!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank
you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"
With no apologies to those who are offended. Read my first paragraph again.
(The Other) Len
Vacaville, CA
1967 3000 MKIII HBJ8L39031
|