Hello,
There have been some fine bodge stories, but I haven't
picked a winner yet. I've only noticed about 3 dodgy workshop
manual entries so far - so come on get it off your chest; tell
us about the least helpful workshop manual entries ever.
Don't forget there's a pack of self tapping countersunk woodscrews
for the worst bodge story. Just think you'll be able to re-attach
your MG's wooden flooring with them ( see earlier bodges ).
On the subject of bodges, I've just changed my CX's
offside upper balljoint. A nightmarish job involving splitting
3 balljoints and removing the driveshaft etc etc. Anyway, here's
the bodge. There is a splitpin that passes through the upper
arm that holds the hydraulic suspension rod into the arm. When
I removed this the ends of the pin that had been bent over
sheared off when I straightened them. Not a problem I thought,
surely the local parts shops could supply a 2.5" split pin
of the right diameter. NO SUCH LUCK. You simply cannot buy
half round wire or long split pins at 6 pm in Devon.
So here's the problem, how to fix the rod in place?
The old pin is now too short. I tried a bit of metal coathanger
but it looked too dodgy ( the MOT is due shortly anyway )
I even tried soldering extra bits onto the old pin but it wasn't
up to the job.
The solution was obvious. Refit the old pin and use a plastic tie-wrap
to hold the pin in place! Hooray.
Now I'm sure that the MOT tester will not appreciate this method
of fitting a split pin so I think I'll have to use the time honoured
method of a liberal coating of grease and some soil from the garden
to hide this bodge.
I'm keeping quiet about the big bodges ( for now anyway ).
Here's yesterdays worst manual entry.
How to remove and service your upper suspension arm.
1. Move height setting lever to LOW.
2. Slacken hydraulic bleed screw.
3. Jack up car and support on axle stands.
4. Chock back wheels and remove front wheels.
5. Remove all parts attached to upper arm
6. Romove upper arm bolts
7. Withdraw arm.
8. Replacement is the reverse of removal.
A few small problemettes here.
If the suspension is low you can't get a jack under the car.
If you've got the thing on axle stands is it really wise to
remove the wheels, the torque of removing the wheel nuts would
mean a car dropping onto your foot.
The rest is too complex to go into.
OK, Heres the worst EVER bodge!
A mechanic was asked to bodge an exhaust to save an owner some money.
The mechanic concluded that the best thing he could do was to weld
a piece of an old exhaust pipe in line and weld that to the chassis.
He did this, but halfway through welding it on to the chassis his
assistant realised that what they were actually welding to was the
FUEL TANK! Luckily there was only a gallon in it and by some miracle
it didn't ignite.
Always remember that any reference to a torch, for use in inspection,
refers to an electric lamp and not to a blow torch or an oxy-acetylene
torch.
Bodge bodge bodge.
Duncan.
@NOSIGCOSTHEY'REANNOYING
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