I got about halfway through Roger's post, and was working up a suitably
large measure of outrage, when it struck me that I had not yet seen Roger's
traditional April Fool's joke post.
And there it was at the end; the keyword: "Lirpa Loof"
Ha! Missed me! :)
But you know, that movie has been causing me no end of unease, in part
because of the very things Roger was lampooning, but also because of an
experience I've already had with Hollywood.
Back in the day, I used to be a pretty serious BMX competitor - at least,
as serious a competitor you can be when 2000 miles away from the epicenter
of the sport and on a 3-month race season. I LIVED on my bike, lovingly
assembled a piece at a time from the money I made on my paper route.
I did windsprints up hills to increase my leg strength.
The abandoned construction site across the street became a practice track
(when was the last time you saw a teenager with a pick, shovel, and rake
NOT under duress?)
>From dawn to dusk, I was out there, riding.
I even went to the World Championships when they came to Whistler in '85
(Got my ass KICKED! So much for my Pro career)
Now BMX was a pretty new sport at the time. Freestyle had only just been
invented, and the very first freestyle bike had been out for less than a
year (GT made it, Eddie Fiola rode it) We were all so cool, and nobody knew
it yet - they (the other kids at school) just thought us BMX-types were
weird and obsessed.
Then we heard about a new movie that was supposed to be all about BMX. Some
guys I had raced against were used as extras. This was going to be IT!
Everyone was going to see how great this sport was!
Over time, some details of the plot leaked out. Local kid is a paperboy, a
true natural-born talent. A big race comes to town, so that BIg Sponsor can
showcase Big Sponsor's rider. A few spots are open for locals. Local boy
qualifies (over adversity; Big Sponsor rider is an asshole) and then goes
on to win the big race and get the girl. In other words, typical Hollywood
pap.
So what! That movie was about US! It was going to be SOOOO COOOL!
It was called "Rad!" Exclamation Point!
When it finally made it to Quesnel, me and my BMX buddies were the first in
line.
Movie starts. The opening sequence is Our Hero delivering his papers. He's
taking all these weird shortcuts and doing all these tricks as he goes from
house to house - OK, so the tricks are a little over the top, but that was
pretty well what I did every morning, just amped way up to the level I
*wished* I was capable of. So far, so good. This is cool!
We establish that the kid is an underdog. So far, this movie is REALLY
speaking to me. That could be me up there!
...and then it goes all to hell.
What happens next... well.. the rest of the movie had NOTHING to do with
BMX the sport, or even BMX the lifestyle. The races weren't BMX races, they
were these weird cross-country bounds through parks and parking lots over
these bizzare obstacles (like a giant cereal bowl - you drove around the
bowl and got out via the spoon) And the races were really violent too - me
and the boys were infamous for driving a really physical race style, but
anybody who tried any of the blatently nasty stuff that was going on there
would have been banned for life.
They got it so, so SO WRONG! That wasn't us!
We left the theater in total shock. As I recall, I pushed my bike home. And
the lot of us laid low for a while lest we be associated with that horrible
travesty of a movie.
My expectations for "The Fast and Furious" are no higher.
I have come to realize that a great many people out there in SCCA-land are
completely unaware of just how big the whole sport compact scene really is.
I'm immersed in it, so I tend to take it for granted that everybody knows
just how important these guys are to the SCCA. I've been finding that
there's a rather large group of people who are just now starting to see
what all the fuss is about.
But Laird Thunderin' Jaysus, please DON'T base your impressions off this
movie!
DG
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