jon e prevo <tcbracer@juno.com> wrote:
>
> What the hell is that?!
A LART??? Luzer Attitude Readjustment Tool. A LART has no weight
or mass. It's simply a flame e-mail that's so hot that it even
melts asbestos gloves. A LART is usually delivered by a member
of the cabal (TINC) to somebody who desperately needs it. No
material known to man can protect you from a LART, including Nomex.
A good LART has been known to melt the monitor of the recipient,
and can't even be printed without spontaneously combusting.
Obviously, Mr. Grant does not believe in the cabal (secret
organization that runs the Internet) because he failed this question
on his membership application. :-) The exact question on the
top-secret cabal admissions test is:
36) A clueless newbie keeps posting advertisements for a competing
web site to a public discussion forum. What is the appropriate
response for the first-time offender?
(A) LART
(B) Black helicopters
(C) An 8 foot clue-by-four
(D) Use Cabal-Sat 7's x-ray camera to post naked pictures
of the newbie to alt.sex.wanted.gay-and-bi
The correct answer is "C". Education is the cabal's most important
weapon, and there's nothing like a good clue-by-four to drive your
point home. :-) If that doesn't work, then you move on to a LART,
and finally dispatching the black helicopters. Cabal-Sat 7 is
only to be used as a last resort, because the exhalted grand
leader of the cabal gets cranky when he can't watch the dressing
rooms on the Baywatch set.
You can't make this stuff up..... :-)
-Arthur ("Why isn't anybody voting for me to win in Topeka???" edition)
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