For immediate release:
Doctors working under a federal grant have concluded that there is a definite
link between an automotive sport known as Autocross and acute symptoms of the
mental illness, schizophrenia. Symptoms typically show up as delusions of
paranoia and perceptive psychosis; those inflicted with the illness
consistently repeating over and over:
....they saw the course map in advance and I didn't....
....they have more money than I do....
....they have more time than I do....
....they have "hot" tires....
....they are cheating....
....they got to walk the course more than I did....
....they (Event Officials, SCCA Staff, or SEB) have it in for me....
If you know of anyone who participates in Autocross and exhibits one or more
of these traits please contact your nearest Sanitarium and alert them of the
situation before the individual decides to hold hostages at gunpoint at a
Disney World hotel.
end of release.
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