And now for something completely different...
Here's my routine when getting into the car on grid at an autocross:
1. Get in the car.
2. Strap myself in (5 point harness).
3. Realize the keys to the car are in my front pocket.
4. Unstrap.
5. Get out of the car and get the keys out of my pocket.
6. Get in the car.
7. Strap myself in.
8. Put the keys in the ignition.
9. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
10. Unstrap.
11. Put the helmet on the passenger seat.
12. Strap myself in.
13. Notice the driver's door is still open.
14. Wonder why the guy next to me on grid thinks this is so funny.
15. Unstrap.
16. Close the driver's door on the lap belt.
17. Try to strap back in.
18. Open the door to free up the lap belt.
19. Strap myself in.
20. Notice the driver's door is still open.
21. Start getting irritated at guy next to me on grid who is cackling like a
chicken.
22. Put helmet on head, scraping glasses down nose and onto the floor.
23. Take helmet off.
24. Unstrap.
25. Pickup glasses.
26. Strap myself in.
27. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
28. Decide the guy next to me on grid is having a coronary by the way he's
twitching and jerking.
29. Unstrap.
30. Put the helmet on my head.
31. Try to strap myself in but I can't see the latch because of the helmet.
32. Take helmet off, carefully putting it on the passenger seat.
33. Strap myself in.
34. Starting to hope the coronary the guy is going through finishes soon.
35. Put helmet on.
36. Notice glasses on passenger side of dash.
37. Unstrap.
38. Put glasses on.
39. Strap myself in.
40. The guy next to me must be dead 'cuz I can't see him sitting up in the
car anymore.
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John Coffey
johncof@ibm.net
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